Nothing against B2Evolution, but I've begun to use the Wordpress platform on a number of My sites and I've decided to move the blog to that platform.

To read My continuing posts, please visit My new blog home here:

http://thedreamking.net/blog/

BDSM email lists were My first exposure to the BDSM community. Many email lists are launched in conjunction with a dungeon or a BDSM organization. Email lists have now become mostly irrelevant due to social networking sites, but they are still very active in BDSM circles.

Yahoo Groups has a large and very active number of email lists. The biggest problem with Yahoo Groups is that they won’t let you do a search for adult groups. There have been other services that have popped up to fill that need (more below), but the best way to get started is to join a group and then look in the links section which are usually packed with other lists.

MySpace has Groups too, as does AOL and I’m sure there are plenty more Bulletin Boards and Social Networking sites that offer email lists and groups, but Yahoo Groups is still the most active. By all means spread yourself out there and join them all, but for the time being Yahoo still holds the crown.

Once you’ve joined a BDSM list (or many) the purpose is to make connections and get information, not to directly find a partner. To be honest, making a global announcement about your availability is seriously frowned upon. Start by introducing yourself to the group. Ask questions. Post your own points of view. Learn from the group and be a good member of that community, it will pay off for you in many ways.

Your purpose on these email lists is to set you up for the other two paths, BDSM Personals and BDSM Organizations. These lists will help you discover which organizations are local and meet your needs. They will also give you a good idea of what others are looking for, what they’re interested in and some really great ideas, so that when you meet the right person, you’ll know what you’re doing.

The bottom line is that the BDSM mailing lists will give you the information and contacts you need to meet the right person in your area. Without this information, you’re going to be poking around in the dark and your opportunities are going to pass you by.

In My next article, I’ll take a look at BDSM personals.

Where do you get started? I have a mailing list on Yahoo for the central region of the United States (Oklahoma, Texas, Missouri, Kansas, Arkansas, New Mexico and Colorado) and you can join that here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/okbdsm

I also have a website that lists dungeons, organizations, events and mailing lists in the central region and you can visit that here:

http://www.CentralBDSM.com

Here are a couple of sites set up to help you find mailing lists from your area:

http://www.adultgrouplists.com/
http://www.adultgroupsrepertory.com/

The permanent home for this article is on My new blog that you can find here:
http://thedreamking.net/blog/

I’ve got a large number of websites that I either provide content for, or maintain on a regular basis. Since several of My sites deal specifically with fetish or the BDSM community, I get contacted, almost daily, by people who are looking for partners. Since I’ve spent plenty of My own time looking for a BDSM partner I can certainly understand and sympathize with the quest.

One thing you need to know before you get started is that you’re dealing with a very small segment of the populace. I don’t have any hard statistics on the subject, but I’m guessing that people who actually identify themselves as a member of the BDSM community are as low as 5 or 10 percent of the public. That means simply that as hard as it is to just find someone in general, it’s exceptionally hard to find a good match if you’re looking for a BDSM partner.

What you’re looking for within the BDSM community will make a big difference too. Men who are actively involved in BDSM far outweigh the number of women. That’s good news if you’re looking for a man, but if you’re looking for a woman, your search just got tougher. And if you’re a submissive man (tons of those) looking for a dominant woman (very very few of those), then you’ve really got a large mountain to climb. No matter what you’re looking for, the more you get out there, the better chance that you’ll find someone.

There are three decent ways to meet the partner of your dreams – BDSM Email Groups, BDSM Personals, and BDSM Organizations. The best method would be to utilize all of these avenues.

I’ll talk more about these in the next part of my article.

The permanent home for this article can be found on My new blog home that can be found here:

http://thedreamking.net/blog/

Here is a poem I wrote a couple of years ago and was published in a compilation poetry book.

Sir
Written by The Dream King
Copyright 2008

confident
in her depravity
silence
flesh versus leather
frightened
with quivering lips
slick
with her juices
whimpers
eyes closed to the world
pleading
he grants her release
shining
saliva and ecstasy
surrender
a warrior, knighted

The permanent home for this poem can be found at My new blog page which is located here:

http://thedreamking.net/blog/

Welcome to the Dream King blog! I will regularly update visitors on local events, community happenings and My own thoughts and experiences here.

I have moved My blog to the new location here:

http://thedreamking.net/blog/